Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
