my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
