I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
