I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
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Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
