i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
you made out with another girl for some wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize