Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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