p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
