you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
When are your genitals available?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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