it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
