also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain