Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  let's bang

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.

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  (216): let's bang (773): You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no. http://tfl.nu/cr4i
  Replies (68) Good night (1578) Bad night (6525)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  you turned your livingroom into a bong?

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  (216): you turned your livingroom into a bong? http://tfl.nu/pj3a
  Replies (27) Good night (4579) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me

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  (913): My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me http://tfl.nu/wgqk
  Replies (9) Good night (1761) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator

  (954): View more from Florida

  you didnt stop her?

  (305): View more from Florida

  too entertaining

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  (305): so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator (954): you didnt stop her? (305): too entertaining http://tfl.nu/7hz6
  Replies (49) Good night (4901) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.

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  (205): One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum. http://tfl.nu/g2t8
  Replies (18) Good night (1133) Bad night (3017)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.

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  (919): his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more. http://tfl.nu/6a2v
  Replies (15) Good night (1128) Bad night (4195)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?

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  (901): I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that? http://tfl.nu/6l8j
  Replies (13) Good night (1001) Bad night (3762)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober

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  (717): you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober http://tfl.nu/nwgl
  Replies (10) Good night (5152) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?

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  (251): Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"? http://tfl.nu/ubao
  Replies (6) Good night (3955) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE

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  (828): NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE http://tfl.nu/lvmw
  Replies (6) Good night (648) Bad night (1696)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.

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  (940): Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things. http://tfl.nu/0rsv
  Replies (10) Good night (2030) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...

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  (307): My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls... http://tfl.nu/pef0
  Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.

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  (678): I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success. http://tfl.nu/rhn6
  Replies (4) Good night (1485) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum

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  (916): What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum http://tfl.nu/f5r0
  Replies (7) Good night (864) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.

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  (309): But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed. http://tfl.nu/e00m
  Replies (11) Good night (342) Bad night (505)

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