Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  Just got yelled at by a priest...again.

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  (916): Just got yelled at by a priest...again. http://tfl.nu/n99j
  Replies (5) Good night (1418) Bad night (649)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?

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  (847): is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder? http://tfl.nu/zxu8
  Replies (105) Good night (1868) Bad night (2019)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.

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  (843): I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's. http://tfl.nu/1kcz
  Replies (21) Good night (875) Bad night (1390)
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  (626): View more from California

  Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.

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  (626): Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess. http://tfl.nu/higf
  Replies (57) Good night (707) Bad night (3272)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.

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  (713): I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand. http://tfl.nu/1sll
  Replies (8) Good night (3146) Bad night (755)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop

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  (217): Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop http://tfl.nu/m1fy
  Replies (13) Good night (6581) Bad night (1498)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"

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  (507): Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07" http://tfl.nu/j0aw
  Replies (12) Good night (2603) Bad night (1103)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.

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  (203): Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor. http://tfl.nu/o6bb
  Replies (54) Good night (1852) Bad night (5476)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.

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  (406): You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it. http://tfl.nu/4hyg
  Replies (9) Good night (1202) Bad night (2667)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.

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  (732): That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go. http://tfl.nu/exr6
  Replies (5) Good night (1504) Bad night (465)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.

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  (540): I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish. http://tfl.nu/1i5o
  Replies (8) Good night (1072) Bad night (572)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?

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  (678): Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night? http://tfl.nu/tvyx
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (540)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.

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  (317): This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new. http://tfl.nu/2l1q
  Replies (1) Good night (706) Bad night (331)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.

  (1+44): View more from

  They'll never let you practice medicine.

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  (+44): Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it. (1+44): They'll never let you practice medicine. http://tfl.nu/k98f
  Replies (5) Good night (1518) Bad night (327)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times

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  (602): Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times http://tfl.nu/cj8x
  Replies (0) Good night (439) Bad night (202)

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