Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex

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  (817): So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex http://tfl.nu/vz15
  Replies (67) Good night (1117) Bad night (5399)
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  (650): View more from California

  This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

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  (650): This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case" http://tfl.nu/fgo6
  Replies (12) Good night (6636) Bad night (940)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.

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  (315): Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30. http://tfl.nu/jue0
  Replies (4) Good night (2530) Bad night (1336)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.

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  (610): I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed. http://tfl.nu/xw1f
  Replies (6) Good night (3072) Bad night (909)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots

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  (513): Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots http://tfl.nu/4z37
  Replies (3) Good night (1418) Bad night (634)
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  (530): View more from California

  Maybe I'm a robot.

  (831): View more from California

  You can't be that drunk already

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  (530): Maybe I'm a robot. (831): You can't be that drunk already http://tfl.nu/ekm7
  Replies (8) Good night (2223) Bad night (673)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.

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  (817): Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount. http://tfl.nu/oq9w
  Replies (10) Good night (2115) Bad night (453)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.

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  (660): What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food. http://tfl.nu/k4pm
  Replies (10) Good night (1211) Bad night (499)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  i think we need a new approach.

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  (616): how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay? (1-616): i think we need a new approach. http://tfl.nu/uyer
  Replies (7) Good night (737) Bad night (356)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.

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  (315): I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me. http://tfl.nu/d1qj
  Replies (3) Good night (508) Bad night (268)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...

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  (443): I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ... http://tfl.nu/71on
  Replies (1) Good night (278) Bad night (560)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out

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  (613): Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out http://tfl.nu/hcl3
  Replies (0) Good night (611) Bad night (251)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?

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  (814): Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months? http://tfl.nu/ebp4
  Replies (2) Good night (670) Bad night (294)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him

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  (979): I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him http://tfl.nu/6x5z
  Replies (4) Good night (570) Bad night (341)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.

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  (606): Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/a1ao
  Replies (1) Good night (242) Bad night (499)

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