If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm