: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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