I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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