it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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