i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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