You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
