weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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