whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
