i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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