Cold hands, warm shart.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
