I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think I sprained my soul last night
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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