Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
