so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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