her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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