dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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