My nipple is on Facebook.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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