He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The beer is more important than you right now.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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