I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
