and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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