The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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