Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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