What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize