that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
