Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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