No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
