I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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