Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She bit a glass in half.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
