Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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