Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
