Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
