dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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