Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
