Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
