Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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