he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
