your thong is hanging out like whoa
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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