So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
