Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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