lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
