WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
