There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
