My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
