i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
