The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
