You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
