she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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