Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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