I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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