Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
