420 ftw
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Drake has all the answers
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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