Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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