We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Non-Jews are for practice
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Randomize
