Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I bet he comes in French.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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