Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize