i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
