one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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