I cannot find my penis.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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