This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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