i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
