i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
