Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
