with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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